It is one of the most confusing things about raising a child with sensory processing differences. You see them at a Fourth of July parade, cheering for the loud fireworks and the booming bass of the marching band, and you think, Great! They’ve finally outgrown their sound sensitivity. Then, you get home, you turn on the kitchen faucet to wash a dish, and your child covers their ears and has a meltdown.

If you have a child who flaps their hands when they’re excited, hums when they’re stressed, or spins in circles just to feel "right," you’ve seen Stimming (Self-Stimulatory Behavior) in action. For a long time, the world taught us that we should try to "stop" these behaviors because they look different. But the modern insight is life-changing: Stimming isn't a problem to be solved; it’s a solution your child’s brain has already found.

We have all been there. You stand at the bottom of the stairs and say, "Please go put your shoes on." You wait three seconds. Nothing. You say it again, louder. "I said, go get your shoes!" You wait another three seconds. Still nothing. By the third time, you are frustrated, your voice is sharp, and you think your child is being defiant or intentionally ignoring you.

We all know the five basic senses: sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. If you’ve been in the special needs world for a while, you probably know about the "hidden" 6th and 7th senses (vestibular and proprioception). But there is an 8th sense that is the most important one of all for emotional regulation, yet almost nobody talks about it. It is called Interoception.

If you have ever told your child, "Five more minutes until bath time," only to have them explode in a meltdown five minutes later like they never heard you, you aren't alone. In our house, transitions used to feel like trying to stop a freight train with a piece of dental floss. It didn't matter if I gave a warning, or if I was being "gentle," or if I promised a treat afterward. The moment the current activity ended, it was like the world was ending.

If I had a nickel for every time I shouted, "It’s right in front of you!" only to have my child look at me like I was speaking a foreign language, I’d be a very rich woman. We have all been there. You are running late for school, the backpack is packed, the car is running, and your child is standing in the middle of the room looking like they have completely forgotten how to be a human being because they can’t find their left shoe.