If you’ve ever looked at your child’s school planner and seen that they completed their morning math, finished their reading circle, and stayed on task during science, only to have a total "meltdown" or "shut down" during the final period of the day, you have witnessed The Executive Function Tax. Teachers often find this confusing. They might think, "They were doing so well all morning! Why are they suddenly refusing to write one sentence at the end of the day?" To an observer, it looks like a sudden change in attitude or a lack of motivation. But the clever insight here is that motivation hasn't changed—capacity has.

One of the most confusing pieces of feedback a parent can receive is when a teacher says, "I don't see any of the behaviors you’re describing. They are so quiet and compliant in class!" While it sounds like good news, it often feels like a punch to the gut for a parent who spent the previous night dealing with a three-hour meltdown.

If you look at your child’s IEP or school reports, you’ll see a lot of focus on how they do in the classroom. Can they do the math? Can they sit for the story? But for many of our kids, the classroom isn't the hardest part of the day. The hardest part is the "In-Between."

We’ve all had that Tuesday afternoon. You know the one. Your child comes home from school, you give them a snack, and then you say the dreaded words: "Time to do your math sheet." Suddenly, it’s like you asked them to climb Mount Everest in flip-flops. There are tears, the pencil gets thrown, and you hear the cry: "I can't do it! It's too hard!"

When we go into school meetings, our instinct as parents is to fight for every single accommodation possible. we want the extra time, the quiet room, the fidget tools, the modified homework, and the one-on-one aide. We want to build a fortress around our kids to protect them from the stress and failure they’ve faced in the past.

If you have ever walked into a school conference room and seen six or seven people sitting around a long table waiting for you, you know that "sinking" feeling in your stomach. There is the teacher, the principal, the speech person, the school psychologist, and maybe a few people you have never even met before. They all have folders full of papers, and they are all looking at you.